Remembering Love...

My best friend is getting married!! (Marriages and babies popping up all around me-I don’t know whether to be happy for them (which I am) or sad for me, but I digress) All the excitement of what is to come and getting to be a part of her special day next year got me to reminiscing on some past people and experiences (I’m giving sly shoutouts as you will see)-some evoked love from me, others strong like J. I went to the archives and also included a poem I wrote WAAAAYYY back in my freshman year of college (1998) “Go Deep” (what I can remember at least-the actual poem is on a 3.5 disk-that’s how old it is!!). I performed it during Delta Week 1999 at their Crème De la Crème event and got all kinds of snaps lol…hope you enjoy cause I see I’m still looking for now what I was looking for then…

The other day one of my favorite movies was on TV...Love Jones. In that movie we all got to the opportunity to become obsessed with open mic night, poetry, a man’s intentional and successful pursuit of a woman and of course a little humor and romance :-). One of my favorite quotes (besides the Blues For Nina Poem) is from the end of the movie:
Nina Mosley: You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you?

Darius Lovehall: Let me tell you somethin'. This here, right now, at this very moment, is all that matters to me. I love you. That's urgent like a motherfucker.

Whew! I'm dropping the mic and swooning right there...a man not afraid to put it all out there, wear his heart on his sleeve and express his feelings-can we go back to the days when that was cool??

Most folks know (or should have figured out) that I am a HUGE romantic. I mean that stuff drives me daily. I read romance novels, I daydream about romantic encounters, I like cuddling, slow dancing, dudes playing in my hair, me rubbing their heads while they lay in my lap, holding hands, massages, laughing, touching while we sleep, walks in the park or along the beach, listening to music, candlelight, going on real dates, meeting each other’s friends and family, long tight hugs, kisses for no reason, flowers-just because, compliments, watching movies together, chivalry-opening doors, walking by the curb, standing when I leave a table, helping me up and down stairs, hand at the small of my  back while leading me somewhere, being protective and aware of the surroundings in public (well done on the chivalry thing RH), anything and everything in this arena- I just love Love/Romance J.

Watching that movie got me reminiscing about past experiences, my first love and all the things that have touched me deep. I know, I know, I'm supposed to be tough girl Stace but I am a mush sometimes lol. Unfortunately, most of these end in heartbreak for me (considering I'm still single) but I'm not focusing on the negative in this post, ironically I'm still cool with most of the folks who impacted me.

 I still have pretty much every well thought out gift/card/letter/memory, etc. that I felt truly touched my heart (not everything makes the cut)...

•  The card that my boyfriend bought and wrote his own poem in, then gave to my best friend who went to church with him to give to me (we went to different schools) from the 7th grade...I still have that. (Go LT-who I haven’t seen in forever!)
• The basketball my first real love gave me because he knew how much I loved playing Basketball (and we played on some dates) my freshman year at FAMU back in 1998...I still have that. The herringbone necklace he bought me back then so I would always think of him, (cause they were in style)... I still have that. The way he would call just to check on me and let me know he was thinking about me, the walks we took around Lake Ella and how we would just talk (because I like being by water), how we would slow dance whenever, just spontaneously-to music on the radio, sometimes to no music at all-maybe him singing sometimes J, how we would play wrestle at the drop of a dime (and sometimes he would let me win), the nicknames he had for me, how he would hold my hand while he drove and give unexpected kisses at stoplights, how he would make a point to take me places to see the sunset or hear a waterfall or river flow in the dark, and finally how he planned, paid for and executed a trip to the ocean for me because at the time I had never been to one…he helped me experience a lot of firsts, I still recall every detail and memory of our time together-good and bad (Shoutout to FS Jr wherever he may be-my first love and my first heartbreak)
• The tapes (yes tapes) that another guy I dated mailed me full of love songs and the corresponding letter he sent expressing his feelings (using every song title on the tapes) from my sophomore year at FAMU back in 1999...I still have that...I still remember this same guy picking me up from the airport when I came to visit him and having a surprise mini scavenger hunt ready for me that ended up including all of my favorite things including the video LOVE JONES for us to watch (I kid you not, he did the damn thing)…(that was dope AWF!!)
• The Postcard from Germany and letter with a poem that my old boo (who is half German) sent me when he went home one summer back in 2000…I still have that (Guardian Angels hold on to stuff MLS)

I still have memories of all the guys that didn’t want to go a single day without seeing or talking to me (or I them), the hours spent on the phone or in person just talking and enjoying being in each other’s company on a regular basis. Gentle forehead or cheek kisses, my blushing smiles, the way folks made me feel like I was important and a priority in their life, the acceleration of my heartbeat when I saw that it was them who was calling, or when I opened to the door and they were standing there. I remember feeling like I was walking on cloud 9, I hear songs on the radio and am immediately transported back to key moments in time, remembering who evoked the smile and feelings that have seemed so hard to grasp as years have gone on…

I am remembering…LOVE.

Peace.

Go Deep         By Stacey F (circa 1998)

Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?

You really need to know the truth,

For the past few hours my hearts been skipping,

Because I’ve clearly been watching you.

The way you move, the way you walk,

Your gorgeous smile, your sexy talk,

You’ve really got my attention,

So now my intentions are to get to know the real you.

A walk down the street, hand in hand,

To know your true feelings is all I demand,

No time for games, no time for toys,

Cause now is the time to separate the men from the boys.

Your soul is fine, your heart is sweet

Love is what I’m trying to find,

Can you go that deep?

One touch from your hand can make my heart stop,

One kiss from your lips can make my soul drop,

When I look in your eyes, I try to decide,

Whether to show or hide my feelings inside.

I need someone loyal and faithful,

Someone to always be down for me

So now the question lies on you my sweet,

Do you want to go that deep?