You Rocked The Boat Last Night…

First off, let me say that 2018 for me is about stepping out of my comfort zone, thus the haircut, trying new colors of lipstick, new work responsibilities, traveling to different places, agreeing to join a Board of Directors of a Non-Profit, etc. With that, this post is about to be very much transparent and out of my norm, but hey, hopefully you grown if you are reading this so let’s get to some grown folks talk 😉. I know you are used to me talking about love and all that jazz but today it’s about sex (ok, ok and making love, I can’t fully abandon my romantic gene), that’s right, what is the best sexual experience you have ever had and what made it so?

Back in 1996 there was a group called Az Yet that dropped a song called Last Night. Even though I was a naive, sexually inactive, 16 year old, that song stuck out to me because it gave me a view on what making love was supposed to be like once I had it. According to them, I was supposed to see the Sun, the Moon, the Mountains and the Rivers plus Heaven when I made sweet love to a guy. I mean these dudes said they almost cried cause it was so beautiful. CRIED! I have spent my life, even up until this day, looking for that.

I haven’t been the most active in this area, didn’t even have my first experience until 21 (considered a very late bloomer to some), with a guy who was an ex but I trusted him the most and considered him my first love at the time. It wasn’t bad at all, he’s actually in the top 2 all-time, but I didn’t get the “Last Night” feeling so I felt let down.  I mean I know we weren’t technically together anymore, but we had a strong connection and I still loved him then, so if anybody should make me see the sun, moon, mountains and rivers it should’ve been him right?? The reality is, over a few years and a few different experiences I never got my “Last Night” so I shut everything down. I mean, what’s the point of even engaging if you aren’t getting what you’re looking for? So 11 .5 years of celibacy is where I decided to live. My friends thought I was crazy (and my willpower was tested by a few folks, let me tell you) but sometimes when you are looking for something, or expecting something, you don’t want to settle. Honestly, if could go back, I probably wouldn’t have stopped my celibacy streak when and for whom I did at that 11.5 year mark. Because once again, let down (and that relationship didn’t work out, double negative – smh).

I wrote a blog post in the past (To Hoe or Not to Hoe), and I can’t really understand how folks can just sleep with any and everybody but to each their own. I know myself, and I am not the type to be able to have sex without my heart and feelings getting involved, it’s just not in my makeup. You see for me, it’s not just about the act; it’s about the total experience. Some folks forget the word foreplay exists, don’t know how to do foreplay, are selfish, or are stingy. Some folks don’t have the stamina to do anything so shouldn’t. Some folks don’t believe in the follow through afterword’s. There are many things that go into “Last Night”. Honestly, most of my experiences have been pretty lukewarm so it wasn’t that hard to stop doing it *shrug*. I’ve actually decided to go back to the celibacy route again as the disappointment has returned (le sigh).  So the search for “Last Night” continued…


To be continued in part 2-  WHEN WE HAD WILD THOUGHTS