The Best Man

I know y’all remember the movie the Best Man, this was another classic movie from the 90’s (that I hope all of y’all saw) that had another banging ensemble cast, a pretty live soundtrack and some laughs, some tears and a hell of a story line. One of the key messages in the movie of course was the bond and test of brotherhood. In case you couldn’t tell (and just about everybody on my list serve should know me personally but I do have some other followers of the blog so I’m covering all the bases here 😊), I’m a female so me and my curves definitely don’t fall in the realm of brotherhood but I understand the premise.

A few weeks ago for International Women’s Day, I did a post celebrating the fantastic women in my life that help me be a better person every day. With all that’s going on, especially with the constant attacks that our Black men continue to face each day just by being Black and walking down the street, I wanted to celebrate the men in my life who keep me grounded and make me be better just by being who they are and purely by existing. Sometimes it’s not about who will spend the money, or who will provide the most limelight for you. It’s about who will be there for you when times get tough, who will hold you down when you are at a breaking point, who will tell you the truth when you don’t want to hear it and who will break the man code in order to protect you. I’m one of the lucky girls who can exist in the space of having healthy female AND male relationships (platonic). This helps keep me balanced and (when I listen – which I clearly haven’t been doing), on the right track from a romantic standpoint. Once again, I can’t name every single person cause this thing could go on for pages, but that doesn’t mean I love folks any less. With that being said, shout out to the Best MEN (that I’m proud to say I’m still connected to).

My Hometown BFF’s like Derrick B and Kendall T – yo, me and DB been down since we were a week from turning 11 (we are 9 days apart). That’s 27 years. I’ve known him longer than some of my close girl friends. I call his mom Momma 2; she calls me daughter. I call him and KT Brother and love them as such, we all used to support each other at our various sporting events even though we went to different schools (it was a bit harder for them since that played at the same time whereas girls basketball was a different season than boys back then). They might pop up at a track meet though to cheer your girl on and I definitely made a couple trips in College to see DB when he was holding down the court at Central Michigan and Auburn, because that’s who we were. I was so excited when KT also decided to go to FAMU and we stepped on campus together (along with Liz) in the fall of ’98. He ended up leaving to pursue and excel at his music producing dreams, but no matter how far apart we all go, or how long we all go without talking, we are all there for the important moments and when we need each other or when we do get together or talk, it’s like no time passed at all.

My all around the country, city living fellas like Roge`r N, Justin K, Sean L, Mark H – I’ve lived in 8 cities in my life and have been blessed to meet some really cool people in each. It didn’t matter if I was on internship or working full time there have been guys who have been there in just about every situation to make life easier. Sometimes it was a laugh, football smack talk, an ear to listen and advice to give after church, or offering to take over the grill at one of my many gatherings in Cincinnati like Roge’r. Perhaps it was standing alongside me as we spoke to high schoolers about the benefits of attending an HBCU through Urban League or having fun being the agent for a day for his multifaceted, ever-evolving self at the HBCU Walk or chopping it up at my Drinks & Dialogue in LA with Justin. It could be the Detroit Love that comes with my Football husband and professional comedian here in ATL, Sean, between the games we used to watch together and the shows I would support. Finally, you got another Detroit Homie that’s been in Cinci and ATL who will look out no matter where he is, compliment you, encourage you and provide that big brother advice even on the west coast when you are in town visiting like Mark.

My Work Brother Kacy T- in the absence of my 4 real brothers, I can always look forward to being harassed every day at work lol. But for real, KThom looks out for your girl, listens, talks me off a ledge when I need it and provides some real deal advice. Whether it’s relationship advice, life advice or just a laugh I can count on him to help my day go by faster and get me to smile. He helps me to look inside myself and what I want, and helps me to see things from a male perspective. He, like some other fellas in my life, have been spot on when it came to some past dudes – I should’ve listened sooner, that’s my bad 😞.

My Tight Dog FAMU Homie’s like Marlon W, Ed L, Chris B, Salem T, Dante` F – Man, what can I say about these guys. Since I met them at various times at FAMU they have each been rocking with me in one way or another. I got Detroit Love with Marlon and Ed, ATL Riders with Chris and Salem and the Tallahassee Love of Dante`. They make me laugh, have provided a shoulder at one point or another, make me smile all the time, looked out for me in one way or another, offered advice, helped me find a job, offered up their home, taken me out, been the consummate gentlemen. Whether it was traveling out of the country together or around the city, I know they have my back. I can hang with them at dinner or at a game, we can kick it at the house or some professional event, they are smart and versatile guys who believe in family and being there for those they care about and I’m glad to be a part of that number.

Speaking of FAMU, once again the Hill churns out some heavy hitters and some overall good guys and I’m blessed to be connected to a few like Dhane S, Kamau M, James F, Marcus B and others- you know how good it feels to turn on the T.V. or see a news article and be able to say “hey, that’s xxx!”, I do😀.  It’s great. Imagine seeing a Savoy article about a rising global Ad executive and know the guy smiling back at you because he’s the Bruhz, sits upstairs in your office and teases you about FAMU days. Better yet, see one of your homies you did a Pfizer internship with and spent the weekend with the rest of the crew in his Manhattan apartment, sitting courtside because he’s coaching who becomes the winner of the U.S. Open, because he’s also the Bruhz and came in with you in SBI in the freshman class of ’98 (I keep telling y’all we outchea 😉).

My Ex turned Bestest like Arie F and Mario S – If there was an award for the best possible exes to have because you had an amicable breakup and actually had a discussion and remained good friends, continued to look out for each other and genuinely still cared about, had love for and wanted to see each other do well, these 2 dudes would win it. Now one did have some slightly shady stuff that led up to our breakup but he owned up to it and apologized and we’ve been closer since. Neither one did the ghost shit (cause that pisses me off like none other), neither hit the bait and switch (2^nd thing that pisses me off), it just didn’t work and that was ok. I appreciated the fact that we were adult enough to talk about it and keep it moving, that’s why they will always hold a special place in my heart I think. I love that these guys will still ride for me, check up on me, make time for me if I’m in their area (like will go out of their way to see me or talk to me), encourage me and call OTHER dudes on their bullshit to try and preempt any hurt that they may see coming my way. They make me feel good about myself and the best part in all of this is that they aren’t doing it for selfish reasons because they have since gotten married and/or in relationships of their own. Can’t get no better than that. I will admit Arie has tried to save me a couple times and I didn’t listen and ended up shooting myself in the foot (dammit man).

Finally, the Fam like Colin A, Marlon F, Dru K, Travis H, Tay C, Branden T, My Dad, Rickey O,  My Uncles (All-a-dem). I got some of the best brothers and cousins on the planet. I know if I need to talk, they will keep it real and tell me what I need to know, skip the bro code among men. I also know if I sound the alarm, the folks is coming (and between the F and T squads and the extensions thereof, they coming deep). I got family that will set it out when you visit, or even when they run into you out of town. They will make me laugh, hold me down, be ready to ride on fools who may try me and even wipe my tears. They understand and support my dreams, and though no relationship is perfect they are still there and that is what matters.

I did all of this to say that if no one else tells you that you are loved, understood and appreciated Black Men, I will. Because you are needed and your lives matter, especially to me. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Peace.