You're Not My Kind Of Girl

“Why are you still single?”, “Girl, you got it going on, why hasn’t anyone wifed you up yet?”, “You are smart, pretty, funny, like sports and got your own shit together, so why aren’t you married?”. Seriously, do people expect us to have an answer for these types of questions? I mean, if you really know me, you know that if I knew the answer I would have fixed or changed or did whatever to correct it. Honestly, my life plan (that God laughed at) had me married by 25 so as you can expect, a solution would be implemented expeditiously if I really could answer any of these questions. I’m sadly 14 years behind schedule and counting. It sucks. You would be surprised how many times I have heard these or some equivalent statement and 65% of the time, it was from a DUDE. That’s right, a dude was asking me why I wasn’t booed up, but then wasn’t asking to boo me up. However, if he was proceeding to try to boo me up, apparently it didn’t work cause - Single. Oh, but the best ones are the ones who I have a great relationship with and have fun kicking it with starting off as friends (as I think everyone should), who says one of the statements above but then proceeds to ask me about one of my friends 😒. My dude, GTFOH, and I say that lovingly 😊.

I’ve had a lot of time to think lately and this topic reminded me, (ironically considering how much it’s not necessarily a good thing) of one of my favorite New Edition songs, otherwise known as the title of this post. Ralph also mentioned how much the girl had it going on but she still wasn’t his kind of girl. Makes you wonder exactly what a person is looking for if they overlook someone who has everything they are looking for. I can name dudes I’m cool with right now who want to be in relationships and share A LOT of the same interests and values as I do but have never actually asked me out on a date. So it makes me look internally to figure out why and sometimes makes me feel a little bad about myself (hey, I’m human). I have also had guys that I did date, who didn’t have what it took to be in a relationship, I don’t even know why they tried. They knew good and damn well they weren’t gonna put in the work, the commitment or the time and that’s a shame. Dude just stay single and get on Tinder or something. I know, I know, chemistry is important but does that make a relationship last? Will chemistry be enough when you have a couple arguments? Could you base a marriage on chemistry alone? I have had several guys that I had chemistry with who were honestly full of shit. I mean folks who cheated, folks who did the bait and switch thing (said what I wanted to hear about a relationship then changed it after wasting too much of my time), folks who had a lot of they own issues they hadn’t dealt with, folks who tried to make me pay for an exes transgressions, and unfortunately folks who just was about playing games from the beginning (and I didn’t find out until it was late enough to piss me off). I seriously wonder what makes that connection happen and makes it last? Do we really know when we’ve met “the one”? I thought I had met “the one” a long time ago and unfortunately for me was sadly mistaken (twice).

I really wish I could blame some of this confusion on youth and age but I have experienced some folks in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s who still do the same unnecessary bulls#it. With that being said, I’m interested in what men expect to find off the bat? What makes you approach a woman and want to get to know her? Is it just her looks? If you guys are at the same interesting place? If you think she won’t reject you? Ladies, what makes you say yes when someone approaches? How long do you both give it before you decide it is or is not a match? Do either of us overlook what could be the loves of our life because of some preconceived notion of what that is “supposed” to look like?

I read an article today from BlackLove.com “One Man’s ‘I’m Not Ready’ is Another Man’s ‘I Knew the Moment I Saw Her’” and basically it really drove home how much I dodged some bullets in my past and how there is always hope that the right one will come along who will know that you are the right one for them - unequivocally. So I may not be any of the past guys kind of girl, but I will be the ONLY kind of girl for the right one. Hope he finds me soon 😁.

Peace.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts to my questions...