To Hoe Or Not To Hoe...

Lately I’ve been having some very interesting conversations with some of my friends-they are actually quite hilarious to me, especially on this topic-Hoeing. Now I know you are shocked that I, the good girl Stacey would even write this type of blog but I feel that this is a legitimate talking point that got me to thinking. So a couple of my friends, (who of course will remain nameless to protect the innocent :)) tried to get me to believe (and buy into) that all women either have been or should be a hoe at some point in their life. I personally can’t even fathom how that can be, but they gave me straight points like a presentation…it was unreal…I mean at one point they were so deep and persuasive that I found myself swaying my thinking to their side and I had to catch myself and reel myself back in! Perhaps I should back up and say that I am actually pretty old fashioned in that sense and on the other side of the “hoe coin”. I feel like intimacy and sex automatically come with feelings and commitment and togetherness and just more…I mean I don’t think you can be out there just all willy nilly. Let me just also mention that ridiculous double standard that exists between men and women when it comes to sex. A man can have sex with 100 women and no one bats an eyelash, let a woman have sex with 100 men-then she’s loose, a freak, run through, a slut, a HOE (yikes)! Why is it that one has free reign and the other does not?? That’s a debate (along with the hoe debate) that could go on all day but let’s get back to the subject at hand. So here are a few of the key points my friends gave me as to why I (and all women at some point) should hoe:

• Gain more experience
• Build confidence
• Discover what you like and don’t like and what pleases you
• Be in charge of the situation
• Satisfy your urges whenever you need to
• Use it to get out aggression or stay in shape (hilarious)

Now, while these points sound very enticing and can seem to make you think that all would be smooth sailing I begin to come back with points as to why hoeing just may not be the move…

• Sex outside of marriage is a sin (I could stop there but I’ll keep going)
• There are too many diseases out there just to be having sex with folks you don’t know well, even if you do ask them for a copy of their test results before starting
• There are too many babies out there born to folks who don’t like each other, never wanted to be together or claim it was an “accident” leading to too many single parent homes and a whole lot of other issues
• You don’t know who all they’ve been with so then you’ve been with all those people too and the longer the list, the bigger the risk…
• If you take the specialness out of the act by downplaying its importance emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually and water down the intimacy, what’s left for when you find that special person who deserves it?

I’m in no way perfect and I never said I was the last standing virgin but it seems that every since these conversations started I have seen more commercials, sermons and other things about this topic (I think God is trying to tell me something lol). I think a lot more goes into this topic than just sex and whether or not to have it. There can be life changing consequences and people have to be willing to deal with them if they make the wrong choices. Ultimately everyone will make their own decisions but at least now you know both sides of the story..so what do you think-Hoe or Not Hoe???
Feel free to comment with your thoughts on the issue :)