Living Behind The Mask...

How often do many of us have to put on a mask each day for someone or something? Sometimes it’s with the people at the job, our friends, our family, someone who is depending on you, sometimes it’s all of the above. As a person who has been there and is currently there I can tell you…keeping that mask in place is a daunting, emotionally and mentally exhausting task. The biggest question would be what do you do when there is so much pressure placed on the mask that it cracks? Or better yet, when can we stop wearing the mask and with whom??

Let’s talk about that pressure for a minute-pressure can come in all forms, peer pressure, family pressure, job pressure, relationship pressure, society pressure, the pressure we put on ourselves... it’s crazy how we don’t realize how much stuff affects us usually until it’s too late. What if you are the person who everyone calls when they are having issues, and everyone depends on you, everyone wants you to take charge, everyone wants you to come to the rescue, pay for things, plan things, fix things, know things, do the right things, say the right things, be the right weight, be the right complexion, wear the right clothes and shoes, drive the right car, have the right job. This list can go on and on... I’ve always grown up as the good girl who pretty much did the right thing and took care of business, and while that is definitely a great thing, there have been times when I wish it wasn’t true because I just wanted everyone to leave me alone-I didn’t want to have to do the right thing or fix the problem or handle the business. I don’t always want to be the one to step up to the front-sometimes I just want to sit in the back. That’s not to say that I don’t have the drive or knowledge, sometimes I just don’t feel like being bothered or I may have other things I think are more important for myself or I may just think you need to know how to do something for yourself because you need to know how to do it- and that’s my prerogative.  Even the Olivia Pope’s of the world crash and burn sometimes and who is there to help pick up the pieces? What happens when the fixer gets broken?

 Let me just tell you that it is hard to deal with when you feel like everyone wants something from you and no one wants to give anything to you. How would you respond if the smiling mask slips and you see the tears behind it? Or the unfazed mask slips and you see the hurt behind it? Are you prepared to see the tired behind the make it happen mask? I think everyone is searching for that someone who requires them to take the mask off and just be who they are-and then have that person love them just as much if not more than they did the mask. We always say we want people to “keep it real” while out the other side our mouth say “fake it til you make it”-in case you didn’t know, those two things can’t exist concurrently. We each need to decide who we are going to be and with whom we are going to be that person. But from mask to mask I can tell you-wearing that mask is a lot harder than not, so the choice is up to you-are you really showing you or the mask of what you want people to think is you??

Twitter: @FromMySoapBox