Where My Girls At?

So, it’s International Women’s Day!

If you haven’t taken the time to recognize some of the badass women in your life today, do so now 😊.

As this day was coming up and people in my personal circle as well as my company were acknowledging it and coming up with ways to celebrate it, I thought to myself, what better day than today to shout out some of the best women I know in my circle and celebrate them!

I don’t know how many of you have seen Black Panther (I’m hoping and praying all of you have – heck, I saw it twice, I’m a sucker for Black Power and fine Black men lol), but seeing Okoye be such a powerful General leading an all-female Army gave me such a rush and feeling of empowerment! By natural stature, I am not a diminutive woman. I stand 5’8” barefoot and like to wear heels plus I possess a melanin drenched fairly solid and (fairly) muscular build so on any given day I could be anywhere between 5’8” and 6’ and command a presence or at least a glance when I walk into a room. After Black Panther, I walked a bit straighter; my gait was a bit stronger, my gaze a bit fiercer and my talk a bit more direct. I believe I did this because if Okoye could lead an Army of women into battle against men and stop a charging Rhino in its tracks, then surely I could handle my clients, the folks at my company or the people in my personal life!

With that said, I want to call attention to the other Okoye’s in my life, those women who may not lead armies but definitely lead the charge in other aspects of their life and make an impact in mine. Now, I could write for like 15 pages naming folks by name so some will be groups and some will actually be specific. That doesn’t mean I love people any less if their names aren’t called out, I’m just being respectful of the time you are actually taking to read this because you are each Kings and Queens with things to do and kingdoms to build.

My Mom, Carol (and others who have stepped in as 2^nd Moms in my life) - a woman who has sacrificed when she needed to as a single parent (even when she didn’t think I noticed). A woman who persevered to continuously gain experience and education even when others may have said it was too late or scoffed at what she was trying to do. The woman who kept telling me my Black was beautiful when everyone else was trying to tell me it wasn’t. The woman who encouraged my intelligence, silliness, athleticism, creativity and anything in the world I wanted to do.

My Hometown BFF’s Yolanda and Liz – these girls have been rocking with me for over 25 years, when something is going on with me, good or bad, these are the 2 who get called first (or who may actually call me cause they can feel it). They are mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, CRNA’s, business women, athletes, warriors, sounding boards, therapists, cooks, drivers, travel agents, finance professionals, you name it. We will go toe to toe with someone for each other but love each other enough to tell each other when we are out of order (in love). We’ve been in each other’s weddings (well not mine yet, but they will be 😉), there for each other’s major life events and they are more than just my friends, they are my sisters.

The Hometown Homies like TaMyka J, Dana K and Kisha M – while I may not see or talk to these girls as much as the other 2, these fabulous chicks have also been around for quite some time and have my back when I need them. They run the gamut of being badass in their field and when we get together, it’s almost as if we were never apart. They are cheerleaders and sounding boards; they encourage and will go toe to toe if needed.

The FAMU Homies and BFF’s like Melanie C, Marline J, Tiffany M, LaCosta M and Mackenzie P – What can I say about these ladies?? Whether its living together, trips together, laughing together, pledging together, crying together or just talking, I can depend on these ladies to be there for me, support me, encourage me and even tell me things I may not want to hear but need to hear (and I’ll do the same for them). They fight for justice, command respect, know how to hustle, handle business and families, are unselfish and giving and are always willing to go above and beyond for those they care about. They help me to be better and for that, they are invaluable.

Speaking of which, The Women of FAMU (and other HBCU’s)- man, every time I look up somebody from FAMU is doing something big and proudly enough it’s often times someone I know or am familiar with like Talitha A, Morgan B, Bria B, Samara R, Ayana P, Rashan A, Keisha L-B, Arian R and Kim P. It’s sooo humbling and refreshing to see sistas leading cities, movements, companies, groups, non-profits, fans and the like and empowering folks to step into the greatness they were born into. Women who are proud of the rainbow of melanin that we come in, women who are not afraid to speak in front of or to anyone, women who will defend and love the black man and still wear her own crown proudly. They proclaim their love for FAMU proudly and I’m not one to brag, but several of these bad sistas came in wrecking shop with me and the rest of the freshman class of ’98 (shrugs). #RattlerStrike

My Devastating Diva Sorors of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. (and the other 3 NPHC Sororities) like Lynadius J, Joell W, Camille W, Tina B, Katelyn J, Tosha E, Ligaya W, Gayle D, Aisha F, Kyndal B, Natalie J, Jovan M, Natalie W,  Keke B, Toni W, Kieva W, Karen Q-L (RIP) and Tashiana J – you CANNOT go back through history and start naming impacts that have been made in any field by a Black woman, and not run into someone that was the first or a first in a field who wasn’t a part of an organization in the NPHC. Each of the organizations were built on changing the communities and world for the better, and you had better believe we Deltas (the only group I can speak for), take that seriously. The sisters I named have specifically been there for me since my initiation in one way or another on all levels, from Line Sister to Big Sister, Spec to AP, Friend, Mentor, Advocate and Supporter. They will check me and have my back. They will make sure I’m on point and heading in the right direction. We will laugh and have fun and we’ll also handle business. The women in these organizations have their hands in every field, reach every level, demand change and justice, lift each other up, fix each other’s crowns and know that sisterhood is not about letters or colors- it starts with the heart.

Finally, the Fam like Ebony F, Asia F, Gloria J, Chandra A, Toya O, DeLisa W, Gwen F, Shelia T – they say you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family, luckily, I got some good family lottery picks 😊. Whether it was by blood or marriage, I have been blessed to be surrounded by some beautiful, intelligent, bold, bad to the bone women. They are Doctors, Nurses, Teachers, Managers, Social Workers, Business Owners and everything in between. They fill in the gap where there is one and embrace those that need it. They pull up others along the way and push those that want to fall to the back. They provide tough love or a big hug. They wipe tears and open homes, they show up and show out, they party and have fun; they buckle down and get things done. The women in my family inspire me to uphold the legacy of those who have come before me and set a standard for those who will follow in my footsteps.

In the words of my girl Okoye/Danai G – FORWARD!