The Death Of The Art Of Courting..(Someone Please Revive It!)

So call me old fashioned but I believe in the art of courting. Since some people seem to think that courting and dating are the same thing (they are not) allow me to share with you the actual definition of courting according to Merriam Webster:


Court:

1a : to seek to gain or achieve b (1) : allure, tempt (2) : to act so as to invite or provoke

2a : to seek the affections of; especially : to seek to win a pledge of marriage from

3a : to seek to attract (as by solicitous attention or offers of advantages) b : to seek an alliance with

Intransitive verb

1: to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage

Now with that being said, someone, anyone, please stop the ridiculously fast and unnecessary death of the art of courting. Courting doesn’t need to cost a lot of money; it just costs a lot of thought and effort. You can’t half ass courting because it doesn’t work and to be fair both people need to be involved. Too many women have become too accommodating to men who put forth absolutely no effort and get everything they want. Remember back when men came to pick you up from your house and actually came to the door and inside to wait for you? Now dudes beep the horn or call to let you know they are outside-unacceptable. What about dudes thinking that they no longer need to pay for dates? I mean after a while maybe you can switch every now and then depending on your situation with your girl but, to think you are not supposed to pay for anything, especially I in the beginning? Nuts. I also remember the days of talking on the phone for hours, falling asleep listening to each other, dancing to music, picnics at the park, candlelight dinners, walking hand in hand, men opening doors and pulling out chairs, women appreciating it all, ..ding ding COURTING! If you have a talent, use it to your advantage-sing me a song, draw me a picture, write me a poem, cook me a meal, teach me a different language, give me a massage, something. Let me know you are serious about what you are trying to accomplish. That would surely be reciprocated. That goes a lot farther then you dropping $400 at Mr. Chows on dinner. I still have poems, tapes, post cards, greeting cards, letters and other meaningful gifts from past dudes dating back to 7th grade that I thought were well thought out and meaningful. Why are women trying to become the aggressors? I want the man to be the man. I don’t want to be the man-therefore I am not about to chase you all around. The Bible says HE that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. It does not say SHE that pushes up on all the dudes and acts a fool findeth a good thing. Let me just get my one of my pet peeves out of the way now because it is really bothering me: Texting. I HATE texting (and trust me I’m not the only female who feels this way). I mean it has its useful purposes-quick messages like “I’m on my way”, “Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you”, “I made it home safely”, “call you tomorrow”, “In a meeting”, etc. In no way, shape or form should texting be the main form of communication for someone who is trying to get to know someone else on a personal level (read: courting). If you want friend zone-okay, boo status-not okay. I mean seriously how much more impersonal can you get? Smoke Signals? I can not tell your tone in a text, I don’t know if you are smiling, or laughing, or serious, or lying, or whatever via text. When did we as a culture stop knowing how to use the telephone for actual calls? How about voicemail? Email? Greeting Cards? Personal visits?? I have what I like and what I don’t like when talking to a dude and how he acts and whether or not he will be right for me (as does everyone) and to keep everyone on an even playing field I will not give out all my secrets because I like for a man to actually come up with and learn stuff on his own, but I will give you all this freebie (since there may be some man reading this blog who someday wants to try to get at me :) ). IF the very FIRST form of communication that a man has with me after getting my number is a text or email message, he gets an immediate, unchallengeable, unequivocal, STRIKE ONE. Are you serious? That’s your first move? Where’s the trap door when you need one cause I’m pushing the button. I do believe that everyone deserves at least 2 chances in most situations and depending on how severe your first and or second infractions you may get to strike 3 but after that you’re out buddy. That’s not about texting that’s period, so if you start with a text/email it’s already not looking too good. Luckily there are some VERY good courters that I have encountered out there (ironically the best one so far was when I was 18..what is that about..that is so sad-I need these older dudes to step they game up) so I know that all is not lost BUT it seems that they have become the exception and not the rule.

Courting is flat lining and we need to revive it quickly…CLEAR!!